Over the phone, his mother told him, “Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday.” Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days. 

“Jack, did you hear me?”

“Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It’s been so long since I thought of him. I’m sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago,” Jack said. 

“Well, he didn’t forget you. Every time I saw him he’d ask how you were doing. He’d reminisce about the many days you spent over ‘his side of the fence’ as he put it,” Mom told him. 

“I loved that old house he lived in,” Jack said. 

“You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man’s influence in your life,” she said. 

“He’s the one who taught me carpentry,” he said. “I wouldn’t be in this business if it weren’t for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important… Mom, I’ll be there for the funeral,” Jack said. 

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr Belser’s funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away. 

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time. 

Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture… .Jack stopped suddenly. 

“What’s wrong, Jack?” his Mom asked. 

“The box is gone,” he said. 

“What box? ” Mom asked. 

“There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he’d ever tell me was ‘the thing I value most,’” Jack said. 

It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it. 

“Now I’ll never know what was so valuable to him,” Jack said. “I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom.” 

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. “Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days,” the note read. 

Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. 

“Mr. Harold Belser” it read. 

Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There  inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack’s hands shook as he read the note inside. 

“Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It’s the thing I valued most in my life.” A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch. Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. 

Inside he found these words engraved: “Jack, Thanks for your time! Harold Belser.” 

“The thing he valued most…was.. .my time.” 

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. “Why?” Janet, his assistant asked. 

“I need some time to spend with my son,” he said. 

“Oh, by the way, Janet…thanks for your time!” 

As we rush along in life, we may forget to take a look around us and appreciate the things that people have done for you. Similarly, people will seldom thank us for our efforts and hard work. Sometimes it makes you wonder whether what you are doing is worthwhile. As you get tired, frustration seems to set in more easily, and so does disappointment. You may lose your sense of direction and become disillusioned. 

Perhaps, you should consider taking some personal time off in a day of busy schedule, catch your breath, stare at the sky, and think about what is really important to you. Take some time to look around you, and recall the faces that have made an impact to your life. And take some time, to visualise the faces of those whom you would like to make an impact to, knowing that they may not thank you, but they will appreciate your effort in time to come, and it doesn’t really matter because you don’t do it for them to be of gratitude to you, you do it because you care and you find satisfaction in it. 

Often, we do not understand the importance of time until we realise we do not have enough. And very often, we have less time than we think. Don’t start regretting after you run out of time. 

And I thank everyone for your time reading this.  

Kin Keong 

It’s a report of an exchange of opinions between Mr Sng and another principal.

“要超越的人不在前面，而是在里面… … 努力的结果，但不是我们努力的目的。”

好校长

（2009-06-13）

● 潘星华

小依：

　　做新闻记者跑教育线超过20年，和我工作最密切的是各校校长，从小学到大学，不少，已经成了好朋友。

　　华人常说：“不怕不识货，只怕货比货。”西方人又说：“要橙和橙比，苹果和苹果比，不能橙和苹果比。”做新加坡人最好，东西文化交融兼备；做记者更好，有无数人可以比，有无数校长可以比。而且，因为长期在教育线，“路遥知马力，日久见人心”，我可以有很长的时间去看一位校长，凡我认为是好校长的，一般不会看走眼。因为，他们是经过无数比较后，而且是同类比较，被证明是最好的。

　　去年在“华校校史联合展”的活动“校长论坛”上面演讲的五位校长：圣尼各拉女校前校长李宝丝、华侨中学前校长杜辉生、南洋初级学院院长郭毓川、道南学校校长陈俊敬、德明政府中学校长孙振炜，都在我的校长名单，名列前茅。

　　过去几天，我在为八方文化创作室把五位校长在校长论坛上的讲话，结为一本名为《华校发展的回顾与前瞻》的书，做文字润饰和校对工作。他们的讲话，让优秀校长的身影，再一次跳到我的眼前。

　　其中，杜辉生校长与孙振炜校长的“交锋”，尤其令我难忘。

　　杜辉生是率领华侨中学从上世纪七十年代的风雨飘摇到九十年代能与莱佛士书院平起平坐的英雄。他对一代华校生把自己不如意的日子，归咎于华文的态度，不敢苟同。他说：“我们要感恩。如果今天办得火火红红的特选学校，没有当年那个局势，那样的处境，如果一切都是一帆风顺的话，我们没有今天。”

　　他因此对华中的未来有所期待。他公开要求德明政府中学的孙振炜校长“加把劲”，给华中一点压力，“让华中不断提升，创造双赢的局面”。

　　孙振炜虽然年轻（38岁），面对前辈（70岁）的挑战，极有技巧。

他说：“北京奥运会前，我去中国，看到一个很大的广告牌。画面是一个非洲籍的短跑选手，上面写着英文标语。我对这个广告标语为什么用英文写，感到奇怪。在中国看到的英文广告，通常错别字蛮多，但是那个没有。那个广告标语说“The person to beat is not the one in front but the one inside.” “要超越的人不在前面，而是在里面”。这正是德明办学的理念。如果有一天，我们真的超越华中，那是我们努力的结果，但不是我们努力的目的。”

　　社会景象，经常让孙振炜感觉“在繁华中感到空虚，在朴实中觉得幸福”。他说：“身为德明校长，我认为学校不需要越办越大，越办越堂皇，可是必须越办越好，越办越温馨，越办越像一个家。”

　　他用这样的话，回应杜辉生的期待。什么是好校长？这就是！

Lesson 1: People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going quicker and easier because they are travelling on the thrust of one another.

Fact 2: When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of flying alone. It quickly moves back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front of it.

Lesson 2: If we have as much common sense as a goose, we stay in formation with those headed where we want to go. We are willing to accept their help and give our help to others.

Fact 3: When the lead goose tires, it rotates back into the formation and another goose flies to the point position.

Lesson 3: It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership. As with geese, people are interdependent on each others’ skills, capabilities, and unique arrangements of gifts, talents, or resources.

Fact 4: Geese flying in formation honk to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.

Lesson 4: We need to make sure our honking is encouraging. In groups where there is encouragement, the production is much greater. The power of encouragement (to stand by one’s heart or core values and encourage the heart and core of others) is the quality of honking we seek.

Fact 5: When a goose gets sick, wounded, or shot down, two geese drop out of formation and follow it down to help protect it. They stay with it until it dies or is able to fly again. Then, they launch out with another formation or catch up with the flock.

Lesson 5: If we have as much sense as geese, we will stand by each other in difficult times as well as when we are strong.

From Christine Hill 

10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean?

We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.

How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light. However, you can control your reaction. Do not let people fool you;

YOU can control how you react.

Let us use an example: You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over.

She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work.

You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit zone. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?
A. Did the coffee cause it?
B. Did your daughter cause it?
C. Did the policeman cause it?
D. Did you cause it?

The answer is “D”.

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened.

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, “Its ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time”. Grabbing a towel, you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference?

Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.

Why? Because of how you REACTED.

You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.

If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You do not have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic?

* Do you lose your temper?
* Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall Off!
* Do you curse?
* Does your blood pressure skyrocket?
* Do you try to bump them?

WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive. Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.

You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.

The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger.

Why are you stressed out? It will just make things worse. Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it.

The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle.

The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache.

We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.

It CAN change your life!

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out “Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?”

The young man paused, looked up, and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean.”

“I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?” asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, “The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them in, they’ll die.”

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, “But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? There are more starfish on this beach than you can ever save before the sun is up. Surely you can’t possibly make a difference!”

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, “It made a difference for that one,” and he tossed another into the ocean, “and this one”, toss, “and this one…”

Loren Eiseley was a anthropologist who wrote extensively. He was the ‘wise man’ in the story, and he was walking along a beach after a storm and encountered the fellow throwing the starfish back.

“The Star Thrower” is a classic story of the power within each one of us to make a difference in the lives of others. It is a powerful reminder that we should be here for each other, and to seek to help, even in small ways, whenever we can. 

We may feel alone and small and unable to make any lasting changes we may find ourselves asking “What can I do that will make a difference?” or “What can one small person like me do?”

In reality we don’t have to be rich, talented or even particularly intelligent to make a difference in the life of another. We just need to remember that we ARE here for a purpose, and that making small changes in the world eventually add up to something bigger in the life of another.

He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by.

The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end his career.

When the carpenter finished his work and the builder came to inspect the house, the contractor handed the front-door key to the carpenter.  “This is your house,” he said, “my gift to you.”

What a shock!  What a shame!  If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently. Now he had to live in the home he had built none too well.

So it is with us. We build our lives in a distracted way, reacting rather than acting, willing to put up less than the best. At important points we do not give the job our best effort. Then with a shock we look at the situation we have created and find that we are now living in the house we have built. If we had realized that, we would have done it differently. 

Think of yourself as the carpenter. Think about your house. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. Build wisely. It is the only life you will ever build. Even if you live it for only one day more, that day deserves to be lived graciously and with dignity. The plaque on the wall says, “Life is a do-it-yourself project.” Your life tomorrow will be the result of your attitudes and the choices you make today.

—Author Unknown 

How do you get a butterfly?

First there is the egg which hatches into a caterpillar. The caterpillar eats and grows. At the right time, it makes a cocoon out of its own body. While in the cocoon, the caterpillar changes into a butterfly.

When the butterfly is ready, it starts to break through the cocoon. First a hole appears. Then the butterfly struggles to come out through the hole. This can take a few hours.

If you try to “help” the butterfly by cutting the cocoon, the butterfly will come out easily but it will never fly. Your “help” has destroyed the butterfly.

The butterfly can fly because it has to struggle to come out. The pushing forces lots of enzymes from the body to the wing tips. This strengthens the muscles, and reduces the body weight. In this way, the butterfly will be able to fly the moment it comes out of the cocoon. Otherwise it will simply fall to the ground, crawl around with a swollen body and shrunken wings, and soon die.

If the butterfly is not left to struggle to come out of the cocoon, it will never fly.

We can learn an important lesson from the  butterfly.

If we do not have struggles and challenges in our work, we will never grow strong and capable. If life has no difficulties, we will become weak and helpless.

— Lim Siong Guan